I look back on my past communications and there is a recurring word that pops up in emails, messenger, comments, and texts….a theme if you will….bittersweet. With every Valentine’s Day (the anniversary of my husband’s death), every year on his birthday, every one of my daughter’s milestones or accomplishments….there is that word, looming over us…bittersweet. I am just as guilty of using it as anyone.
Bittersweet – (adjective) 1. both bitter and sweet to the taste: bittersweet chocolate. 2. both pleasant and painful or regretful: a bittersweet memory. ~ dictionary.com
I don’t want this to be a continuous theme throughout my life, and I certainly do not want my daughter to be saddled with this for her eternity either. Sure, her father is going to miss out on a lot and we are going to miss him in those moments, but those facts do not DEFINE those moments, nor should we allow it. I’d rather think that he is here, he sees it, he knows. These moments should not be bittersweet. We should be allowed to enjoy them in their purity. Untarnished by an event we had no control over. I am hereby banning the word…..BITTERSWEET from these events. I do not want to ignore my late husband or my daughter’s deceased father, or pretend that nothing ever happened, but I am hereby giving us permission to enjoy the happy moments, the accomplishments, the joy in our lives, without the cloud hanging over us. We are NOT doomed to suffer, nor are we earmarked to have a dark cloud hovering around us for a lifetime.
We, especially A, deserve to have happiness and joy! Life is happy and should be treasured everyday! So go out there and live it, we certainly are!