Too many support groups

I think I belong to too many widow groups…too many pity parties and woe is me, too many negative thinkers and not enough positivity to balance it all out. Wow, that was a quick rant, down and dirty, and ignorant at best. I do not want to be this person, this judgmental bitch that getsContinue reading “Too many support groups”

Grieving doesn’t have to be a negative

Negativity and widowhood do NOT have to be soulmates. There is a difference between grieving and being a proponent of negativity. Just because you are grieving does NOT mean you have to succumb to negative thinking. Grief – keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss; sharp sorrow* Negativity – encouraging or noting anContinue reading “Grieving doesn’t have to be a negative”

Taking the Rings Off

This is a very controversial topic in the widow-world. When is the right time, and is there a right time to remove your wedding rings? Honestly, you can probably guess what my opinion will be. Do what you feel comfortable doing. Do not let anyone persuade you to do anything you are not ready toContinue reading “Taking the Rings Off”

I’ve hit a wall

I’ve hit a wall. As much as I hate to admit it, it is true. It happens, usually when life gets stressful…work is crazy, the holidays are approaching, challenges with the kids, or family…it comes in, out of the blue, and bricks itself right in front of you, so close that you cannot avoid it,Continue reading “I’ve hit a wall”

A widow’s lesson from ‘Grey’s Anatomy’

I recently re-watched an episode of Grey’s Anatomy, and this one struck a chord for several reasons. First, coincidentally, the air date for the episode was was just one month before the passing of my husband. Second, this episode hit home in an different way the second time around, from the perspective of a widow.Continue reading “A widow’s lesson from ‘Grey’s Anatomy’”

What advice would I give myself

What advice would I give my new-widow-self? It’s ok to curl up in ball on the bed and shut the rest of the world out…just don’t set up camp in that dark space. Every now and then your mind needs a break. Jumping into a mindless, light book is a great escape…do more of that.Continue reading “What advice would I give myself”

The Practice of Gratitude in Grief

The right way to grieve, the wrong way to grieve, everyone seems to have an opinion, there are even books on the subject. I am not going to tell anyone how to grieve for a lost loved one. Is there really a right or a wrong way to miss someone? Nor am I an expertContinue reading “The Practice of Gratitude in Grief”

There is even a double standard with death.

There are no defined rules on the use of the words widow and widower, yet there is an unwritten double standard. Think over time, think about the news, think about how often you hear the word “widow” for a woman who has lost her husband, and think about how little you hear the word “widower”Continue reading “There is even a double standard with death.”