The right way to grieve, the wrong way to grieve, everyone seems to have an opinion, there are even books on the subject. I am not going to tell anyone how to grieve for a lost loved one. Is there really a right or a wrong way to miss someone? Nor am I an expert on grief, just someone who has experienced loss.
What I am gong to say, from personal experience, that life is what you make of it, and your how you choose to love with and through your grief is all yours to own. I learned through experience and practice that gratitude has its well-deserved place of honor in my life. It is gratitude that helped me from going down a dark rabbit hole of anger and self-pity.
Even in the most painful grief there is something to be thankful for, for if we had never experienced love and connection with the person we lost, we would never experience the converse pain of grief. Be thankful for the time you have had, for the time you had it for it is a treasure to be cherished.
Be thankful for the people in your life with which you find solace and comfort. Choose to be grateful for those you care about and who care about you. Even those in your life who may unintentionally hurt or offend you during your most vulnerable times, because their intent was actually good. Be grateful for the intent, not the content.
Sometimes it is important to be thankful and mindful of all you have, rather than focus on what you have lost. How has your life been changed or altered for the positive, just by having the person you lost with you and for having known them. This can be life affirming, this can provide hope in the darkness, if yu choose to let it.
I am a better person for having known and loved my husband. He change me and made me a stronger, smarter, and more self-aware person. I will always be grateful for the time we had, for the experience, for the emotional growth, and of course for my daughter.
At the height of mourning, in those months immediately following my husband’s passing, it was gratitude and appreciation that carried me through. It saved my life. I appreciated every card, note, phone call, text, message, hug, and meal that was granted to me. I chose to feel uplifted by others and appreciated it every single time. Gratitude has the ability to heal.
Unfortunately, gratitude is something I still need to practice. I need to work at reminding myself to appreciate what I have, and to count my blessing, for there are many to be counted. I try to start everyday with a little time to myself, to gather my thoughts, and to appreciate the new day before me with all of its bumps and imperfections, and all of the joys and blessings that have been bestowed upon me.
Again, I will never tell someone how to grieve, but I can tell them how I have chosen to grieve. I grieve with humor, appreciation, gratitude and joy.