Pain is Just Pain

Pain is NOT the only way to express love. Pain in NOT love, it is just pain.

Seems like a deep message, but it is really just what it says. Pain is just pain. You do not have to express your heartache and wear your pain on your sleeve to prove that you loved, and still love. When you lose someone close to you, like your spouse or soulmate, you are clearly in pain. You do not need to, or feel the need to show your pain all the time. I am not saying to mask your feelings or be afraid to show that you miss your late wife or husband.

I am also saying that you do not have to be afraid to show when you are happy. You are allowed to be happy, to have a good day, to laugh, you do not need permission to show joy.

Too many times I have seen people slip down the dark slope to a pit of despair. Where all they have is their pain. Sometimes, I think, when you allow yourself to travel down that slide, you make it harder to climb out and harder for others to reach you. You find fault with every hand that reaches out, because “hurt people, hurt people.” You probably don’t even see yourself doing it. You wallow in your world of loneliness and pain…it becomes your focus, all you think about is your pain, what you lost, what you had or could have had, how you were robbed of time. In actuality you are robbing yourself of precious time with all your self-misery.

The law of attraction states that if you foster negativity, you attract more negativity. If you focus on the positive, you will attract the same. There are countless articles and studies that highlight the power of positive thinking and the practice of gratitude. It seems like a fad, but is it? Is it really? I think not. I think when we are caught in the woe-is-me phase (and lets make sure it is only a phase and not a home), that we need to start our own pathway out with focus on the good.

The world may be crashing around you, you may be in emotional crisis, financial despair, losing your home, your kids may be acting out, your family may not be supporting you the way you want them to, your job may have laid you off, a pandemic may be disrupting your life, etc. The list could go on and on, but there is always something to be thankful for, even if it is just the hot cup of coffee in a quiet house to start your day. Be thankful for that quiet moment and comforting brew. Some days that was the bright spot that started my day. Granted my days may not always go the way I want them to, but there is always something at the beginning of the day that can get me going, something I can appreciate…and likewise there is always something at the end of the day that I can be thankful for as well.

Start and end your days with grace and appreciation. Last night, for instance, I placed my head on my pillow, thankful to and appreciative to have had a quiet hour in my evening to enjoy a book and relax my brain. Something so simple, but yet to gratifying and fulfilling. A moment to myself, without chaos.

Pain is just pain. It is not who you are, nor is it who you want to be.