Negativity and widowhood do NOT have to be soulmates. There is a difference between grieving and being a proponent of negativity. Just because you are grieving does NOT mean you have to succumb to negative thinking.
Grief – keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss; sharp sorrow*
Negativity – encouraging or noting an unhealthy or unbalanced outlook toward something*
I may belong to too many widows groups or maybe I just see too many widows and widowers that have allowed themselves to travel down a negative path. I see numerous posts everyday that seem so angry and defeatist. People who are angry because family and friends are not reaching out to them enough, or offering to do things for them, or they feel abandoned. Or the converse, people who are angry because their friends and family are too involved and have too many opinions about what they should be doing. I hear from widows who feel overwhelmed and who have given up, only focusing on what their life no longer has, rather than building something or being thankful for the people and other good things in their life. They are too consumed by negative thinking to see any good things that are in front of them.
Maybe it is just because I am approaching 10 years without my husband that I can say this, but I just want to shake them and wake them up, “don’t do this, don’t waste your time an energy going down such a negative path. It doesn’t have to be this way!!!” A person trapped in a negative mindset can find fault with any idea or suggestion. They will bite any hand that reaches out. They do this at the expense of their own well-being.
If you embrace negativity you can’t expect anything positive to happen.