Grief does not define me

Who am I? When I think about this question, the first words that come to mind are: mother, wife, career-woman, widow, friend, and now blogger. But those are just words, titles, I cannot say that anyone of those things define me, and they certainly are not the essence of who I am. Just like widowContinue reading “Grief does not define me”

Flashbacks, anxiety, and missing time

I have not really told much of the story behind the death of my husband. It is a hard story to tell. But now, my father is ill, he is suffering from some of the very same symptoms that my husband experienced, and it is unnerving to say the least. Who am I kidding, itContinue reading “Flashbacks, anxiety, and missing time”

Parenting from beyond the grave

It is important to continue to integrate your late spouse into the lives of your children. They will and should always be a part of your lives. One of the things that I have always been committed to was being open with my daughter about her father, who he was, his likes and dislikes, strengthsContinue reading “Parenting from beyond the grave”

Don’t use a pandemic to lash out, a rant from an angry widow.

I saw a post today on social media about the COVID-19 pandemic and stay-at-home orders, it went like this: “**To all of you weathering this isolation with someone else**Do NOT call a widow/widower & tell them how difficult you find this new normal & how tough it is. This is my reality & life 8Continue reading “Don’t use a pandemic to lash out, a rant from an angry widow.”

Blast from the past, a new widow’s thoughts

I found this gem, something I wrote on April 4, 2012, just shy of 2 months after the passing of my husband. Just a little insight into the early days of my journey. Who I am now I am a recent widow.  My husband, Bryan, passed away unexpectedly at the age of 42.  I am aContinue reading “Blast from the past, a new widow’s thoughts”


I look back on my past communications and there is a recurring word that pops up in emails, messenger, comments, and texts….a theme if you will….bittersweet. With every Valentine’s Day (the anniversary of my husband’s death), every year on his birthday, every one of my daughter’s milestones or accomplishments….there is that word, looming over us…bittersweet.Continue reading “BITTERSWEET”

Selfish Train Wreck

I have talked about selfishness and grief in the past, because grief is so all-consuming and overwhelming, but I have not made it a topic of conversation. I have to be completely transparent when I tell you I am just as guilty of displaying the selfishness of grief as anyone and, in hindsight, see itContinue reading “Selfish Train Wreck”

Red Tape and a “Black Binder of Death”

There are many things associated to the death of a loved one that many don’t think about or are never told, let’s tackle the morbid topic of red tape. When my husband died, before I even left the hospital (in a state of utter shock), I had to decide where to send his body. MyContinue reading “Red Tape and a “Black Binder of Death””